Soccer and Golf

Soccer season ended for E. He loved his team and is bummed that it's over for the summer.

R is still playing for another weekend, and also gets to add golf to his list of sports. He is on a golf team now. I love that they make the kids dress up. He didn't even mind the nice pants...I think he realized how handsome he looked.

E's 9th Birthday...with the big bouncy house

E's birthday party was a week late this year. We had to have it on a weekend since so many of his friends go to school now. It was nice too, because we were able to invite our families. My mother came down and spent a couple of days, and my dad canceled plans to be here.

The boys were disappointed that Uncle M couldn't make it, because two of his three kids was sick. E was really bummed that none of my siblings made it either, but was glad to at least have two of his cousins to play with; B's brother E's family, which was awesome. (Click on photos to enlarge them.) It was great to see E up and about. He really is a very different person now, after the stroke, but he is still E in there, and he can walk, and talk, if you are patient enough to allow him to get out what he wants to say.

Here he is in the middle surrounded by his family and my dad, who was so glad to have the opportunity to visit with him. E was a musician and he and my dad share that, E having actually bought a really old, but well functioning, amplifier from him many years ago.


I can't believe I spent the money on it, but we got a bouncy house this year. The boys chipped in and gave me $30 so we could get the really big one with the slide.

I let E invite everyone he wanted to, figuring if I spent all that money we may as well at least get good use out of it. We invited 47 people, but we ended up with 32, I think.

B made it through the day pretty well considering he had had chemo that weekend. He managed to jump around in the house since he was the only grown-up in the family who was around to and could. He's such a great dad.

I think I did a great job coordinating this whole thing. Family was invited from 11:00 till 3:00, and I served them lunch at noon. At 1:00 all the kids around the neighborhood (all under age 7) arrived. They had 30 minutes to bounce without getting hurt, until the big kids arrived at 1:30. At 3:00 all the family and neighborhood little kids left, and the big kids then had an hour to bounce around wildly, since they had been invited to stay till 4.

We had cupcakes which had had the wrappers taken off before being frosted, and were able to have "cake" in hand with no plates, utensils, or mess. I've found that kids tend to eat the whole cupcake and not just lick off the frosting when there is no paper to contend with. Easy.

The kids also had a blast hunting around for their candy "treasure" bags that had been hidden around the backyard. I was so pleased that when we couldn't find one, all the kids readily agreed to share one piece of candy with the girl who couldn't find hers (showed up in the gas grill the next day).

It was tough when everyone was gone. R headed out with one of our guests for a sleepover, and it was just E and B and I. I bounced around in the house a bit, and we all had a good laugh when I lost my balance and almost fell.

We had a quiet evening together, and E had lots of fun bouncing in the morning before the guy came to take the house away.

It really was an awesome day. And it was certainly the easiest kids party I ever hosted. But honestly, I can't see how people spend this kind of money on kids' parties year after year. Crazy.

Memorial Day Weekend

We headed up to Maine this year. I usually avoid my mother's enormous family around holiday time, but I was feeling like B needed the break from home, and my mom dotes over him to his great satisfaction. Plus it's a really cool place to be to feel the summer's potential.

We had a fantastic Saturday playing with my three-year-old nephew, M. He's been slow to blossom and it was really nice to see him interacting so much. He really bonded with my kids when they were up there during the week of B's surgery, and was super excited to see them when we arrived.

My brother talked my mom into lending him money for a small electric motor for the row boat. I'm glad he did, because B would not have been able to take the boys on their usual row (another couple of months of restricted activities while he continues to recover from his surgery), and it's something he really enjoys doing when we go up there.

We went up to my Grandmother's cottage at Granny Kent Pond on Sunday. Where the bazillions of people always are. Except this time there was almost no one. It was incredibly disappointing that none of the other four 1997 boys' families showed up, because my kids had no one to play with all day. And they were already dealing with the disappointment of Aunt D canceling her trip home from Colombia at the super last minute. Poor R had even brought his tadpole with sprouting legs all the way to Maine to show her.

It was also a bummer that one of my uncles was sick and the dock couldn't be put out into the water without his manpower. Plus the picnic tables were behind the dock. Which all adds up to my Memorial Day inside instead of on the beach.

Nevertheless, R did say at the end of the day that it was still better than just hanging out at Grandma's all day. They had an acceptable time fishing and playing in the water and with the sand and drinking soda and eating Doritos and red peppers and hot dogs. And I got to hang out with my grandmother since some of her entourage didn't show up and I didn't feel like I was on stage. She's 91 and getting tired. I don't blame her; eight kids is a lot. And they kept coming home...

Sunday was the most enjoyable day. E enjoyed some quiet time fishing with the boat tied to the dock. He was determined to catch something, but never managed it.

I took time to enjoy the view from the deck...and the deck from the view...

We had an excellent time playing some miniature golf with Grandma (my mom). My boys are so blessed to have a Grandma who adores them and interacts with them so much.

After that we enjoyed some scallops, lobster roll, clam chowder (don't even ask "what kind?"), haddock fish and chips, and chicken tenders at The Weathervane. Yum!

And finally it was time to go.

But R didn't want to.

In a big way.

He wanted to stay in Maine with Grandma until this weekend, when she is coming down to Connecticut for E's birthday party anyway.

So he talked about it with E, and E decided to stay too.

It was a really agonizing decision for E. The week of B being in the hospital is still with him. He is so worried about his dad. But he loves R most, and didn't want to leave without him. Plus the next day was his birthday and we were planning to go to a Rockcats game, which we had done last year and he loved.

But after reassuring him that B would be fine, and that we would go see the Rockcats another night, yes with Nagy Papa too, he decided to stay. The security of getting to hold on to my new cell phone seemed to help.

I have to admit that driving away from them was a surreal experience. I could still see the apprehension on E's face, but knew he'd be glad he made the decision he did. And B and I got to spend the rest of our 18th Wedding Anniversary alone.

And now several days...

Wordless Wednesday

"My Man"

Wordless Wednesday is a meme. For me, it is the day when I present a photo of our lives without explanation (other than a title for the photo).

The blogroll of others who are participating can be found here. Spend a few minutes looking at some really great photos!

Good Stuff

Life is moving along...

April ended with zoo class at the Beardsley Zoo. The younger class did an obstacle course to help learn about habitats, and it looked so much fun to the older kids that a few of them hung around after class to give it a try. They had a great time.

May started with friends being kind enough to help out with a few things. B is prohibited from lifting things over 5 pounds so we needed some help getting the summer clothes down from the loft in the garage and putting the air conditioner in the kitchen window. We had the added bonus of a knitting lesson for B and guidance on how to build the tree fort which I am likely going to end up doing myself. Somehow it feels like pizza wasn't enough of a thank you, but being humble and asking for/accepting help when I need it are some of the lessons I am learning from B's illness. I was extremely glad to have this family visit; they are such great people, I wish our lives ran a little more parallel. I always thoroughly enjoy the times I/we do get though.

On B's last weekend home recovering from surgery before returning to work, we headed to Brooksvale Park to check out some tadpoles. It was really drizzly out but turned out to be a very enjoyable afternoon. Our friend's Dad is the Park Ranger there and it was fun running into them on our walk around the pond. The boys had great fun catching dozens of tadpoles and catching up with their friend, who now goes to school.

The boys have been having oodles of fun with our new webcam. They can talk to Aunt D, and actually see her, (for free!) through Skype now. They talk several times a week and play Webkinz with her while speaking to her. Also, R is having fun being her poker buddy on Facebook.

As the weather is getting nicer the boys are spending more time outside. They and their friends build a ramp/slide into the sand pit which they had filled with water. Basically it was a giant mud puddle that they glided into. They had so an excellent time.

We joined our playgroup for a field trip to a crypt underneath the Center Church on the New Haven Green. We were told the wrong time and got there first, but that worked out fine since the organist was practicing and allowed us to watch a bit. She also spoke to us about the organ. Very cool stuff.

Then we headed up into the church, where our tour guide spoke about the church and how it came to be on top of a graveyard. He was very informative and did a great job keeping the kids engaged. But the really cool part was when we got to go down under the church and see the actual crypt. Very, very cool.

I was glad to find that both boys were interested enough to actually pay attention rather than socializing with their friends as they used to do on field trips. Perhaps they are getting settled enough to participate in more of these things. On the other hand the trip was a reminder of how I hate being on field trips with other families. People just don't keep their kids quiet, and not only does it disturb everyone's enjoyment of what's going on, but it also makes me feel that homeschoolers get a bad name that way, and I hate to be associated with them.

We finally celebrated R's birthday (only three months late) at Laser Planet. We were putting it off till after Disney, then ended up having to put it off till after surgery. That R is such a good kid. Really. He was so patient.

He had a blast playing laser tag with all his friends. Each of the kids also got tokens and played some arcade games. R played played a game where you drop a token in the machine and it drops a ball. The ball lands on a number and that's how many tickets you get. He got 75! Then he added that to the bunch he got last time he was there, and got himself some sweet prizes.

I think all his friends had as much fun as he did. It was weird for me though because this was the first party I didn't have to do anything for. He even wanted cupcakes, so there was no need for me to cut and serve a cake. B and I just sat there for two hours while the kid who works there pretty much organized the whole thing and kept it flowing.

I still get to be photographer though :-)

April

It's so hard to believe that April is over. It was a busy and memorable month for us. I've been taking lots of photos.

E had a good time with the surgeon "costume" I brought home from the hospital for him. Couldn't find his stethoscope in the mess of his costume drawer though:
The week of B's surgery was one of the most challenging of my life. We were thrilled that the dot which had been placed on him to indicate to the surgeon where his stoma should go, got to go unused:No ileostomy...yay!

My garden kept my spirits up during that week of three hours into Manhattan, six or seven holding B's hand, and three hours back home:
My mom took the boys to all of our activities during that week: Green School on Wednesday, Zoo classes on Thursday, and soccer on Saturday. Then after soccer on Saturday (the day after the surgery) she whisked them away to Maine to keep them entertained during my week of commuting. It was the second toughest week of my life. I took a photo of her for her new business cards:
B's brother E's hospital was right across the street from B's, so I could actually look out our window at it. They released E while B was still recovering from surgery. I looked out the window one day and saw that his fire station was at the hospital. I was surprised that they could all get down there from the Bronx for his release day, but then I saw this:Apparently some Easter Bunnies had to pay a visit to the children's floor of the hospital, and only the ladder truck that E drives would be good enough. Coincidence?

Very strange, I must say, to have a week that focuses on me rather than the kids, but nevertheless...

I had an amazing commute the night of B's surgery. I got to watch a woman being serenaded in the 68th Street subway station:
Then I stepped onto that train and saw a guy giving Free Bouncy Rides:I was taking photos of him when another passenger offered to take a picture of me enjoying a ride: I have to say the energy in that subway car was one you don't get to experience in Manhattan very often; at least two dozen people all smiling together...it was an incredible feeling which I hope I can continue to call back on for a long time. It put me in such a great mood that I actually thought to take photos of Grand Central. I've walked through that station hundreds of times in my life, but it's never more beautiful than at night:I also thought to look up:I can't believe I had never looked up before...for six years I worked in a building right above Grand Central and walked through it every day!

B really enjoyed utilizing the Patient Recreation Center at the hospital. It was nice that it was right on the floor he was on. We participated in a drum circle together, and afterwards hung out and made these: He actually stopped in by himself one day when the boys had arrived back home and I needed some time to be with them. He made some watercolor paintings, and was glad for the opportunity to commiserate with other patients.

It was nice to have had our Easter Egg Hunt with the boys' friends planned for the day after B came home. The kids all had a great time again this year: Easter gave B something to concentrate on rather than his recovery:E's, R's, B's, and mine. And Easter before and after the Easter Bunny, who is still alive and well in this household: I'm thankful that we haven't had school to ruin the fantasy for us.

After B came home, life got somewhat back to normal, although I have to admit I got a lot less done with him home since every day felt like a weekend. We were invited to some playgroup friends' home to build a geodesic dome. First we made them with gum drops and toothpicks, which has always been a favorite activity of ours:Then we made some with rolled up newspaper:One of the moms used to live in a geodesic dome home for part of her childhood and started talking about how some of the levels were pentagons instead of triangles. This led to a conversation about how much time would be saved if we did some of those instead...But then we got a good lesson in how triangles are more stable, especially when working with newspaper, which is not:We ended up having to put a 2x4 in the middle to hold it up.The older kids had lots of fun while the younger kids ended up in the sandbox. No one seemed overly frustrated by the necessity of the 2x4 but R did say he'd like to make one "right" by ourselves at home. We did have a very fun day with all our friends:And several kids finished it off with crowns:Other random April stuff: We spent some time getting back to the books. Both boys wanted to do some "school work" to earn TV time:The boys have had lots of fun playing at playgroup:where I no longer have fun since one of my "friends" let slip about B and now all these acquaintances keep asking me how he is. So much for my one place of normalcy.

R went to a birthday party and brought home some fake snot: I've been enjoying my cutting garden. It's got good stuff this time of year:


April may have started out as one of the most difficult times of my life, but I do always try to find joy in the small things.

Came across a great quote, which is my new mantra: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."