Good Stuff

Life is moving along...

April ended with zoo class at the Beardsley Zoo. The younger class did an obstacle course to help learn about habitats, and it looked so much fun to the older kids that a few of them hung around after class to give it a try. They had a great time.

May started with friends being kind enough to help out with a few things. B is prohibited from lifting things over 5 pounds so we needed some help getting the summer clothes down from the loft in the garage and putting the air conditioner in the kitchen window. We had the added bonus of a knitting lesson for B and guidance on how to build the tree fort which I am likely going to end up doing myself. Somehow it feels like pizza wasn't enough of a thank you, but being humble and asking for/accepting help when I need it are some of the lessons I am learning from B's illness. I was extremely glad to have this family visit; they are such great people, I wish our lives ran a little more parallel. I always thoroughly enjoy the times I/we do get though.

On B's last weekend home recovering from surgery before returning to work, we headed to Brooksvale Park to check out some tadpoles. It was really drizzly out but turned out to be a very enjoyable afternoon. Our friend's Dad is the Park Ranger there and it was fun running into them on our walk around the pond. The boys had great fun catching dozens of tadpoles and catching up with their friend, who now goes to school.

The boys have been having oodles of fun with our new webcam. They can talk to Aunt D, and actually see her, (for free!) through Skype now. They talk several times a week and play Webkinz with her while speaking to her. Also, R is having fun being her poker buddy on Facebook.

As the weather is getting nicer the boys are spending more time outside. They and their friends build a ramp/slide into the sand pit which they had filled with water. Basically it was a giant mud puddle that they glided into. They had so an excellent time.

We joined our playgroup for a field trip to a crypt underneath the Center Church on the New Haven Green. We were told the wrong time and got there first, but that worked out fine since the organist was practicing and allowed us to watch a bit. She also spoke to us about the organ. Very cool stuff.

Then we headed up into the church, where our tour guide spoke about the church and how it came to be on top of a graveyard. He was very informative and did a great job keeping the kids engaged. But the really cool part was when we got to go down under the church and see the actual crypt. Very, very cool.

I was glad to find that both boys were interested enough to actually pay attention rather than socializing with their friends as they used to do on field trips. Perhaps they are getting settled enough to participate in more of these things. On the other hand the trip was a reminder of how I hate being on field trips with other families. People just don't keep their kids quiet, and not only does it disturb everyone's enjoyment of what's going on, but it also makes me feel that homeschoolers get a bad name that way, and I hate to be associated with them.

We finally celebrated R's birthday (only three months late) at Laser Planet. We were putting it off till after Disney, then ended up having to put it off till after surgery. That R is such a good kid. Really. He was so patient.

He had a blast playing laser tag with all his friends. Each of the kids also got tokens and played some arcade games. R played played a game where you drop a token in the machine and it drops a ball. The ball lands on a number and that's how many tickets you get. He got 75! Then he added that to the bunch he got last time he was there, and got himself some sweet prizes.

I think all his friends had as much fun as he did. It was weird for me though because this was the first party I didn't have to do anything for. He even wanted cupcakes, so there was no need for me to cut and serve a cake. B and I just sat there for two hours while the kid who works there pretty much organized the whole thing and kept it flowing.

I still get to be photographer though :-)

April

It's so hard to believe that April is over. It was a busy and memorable month for us. I've been taking lots of photos.

E had a good time with the surgeon "costume" I brought home from the hospital for him. Couldn't find his stethoscope in the mess of his costume drawer though:
The week of B's surgery was one of the most challenging of my life. We were thrilled that the dot which had been placed on him to indicate to the surgeon where his stoma should go, got to go unused:No ileostomy...yay!

My garden kept my spirits up during that week of three hours into Manhattan, six or seven holding B's hand, and three hours back home:
My mom took the boys to all of our activities during that week: Green School on Wednesday, Zoo classes on Thursday, and soccer on Saturday. Then after soccer on Saturday (the day after the surgery) she whisked them away to Maine to keep them entertained during my week of commuting. It was the second toughest week of my life. I took a photo of her for her new business cards:
B's brother E's hospital was right across the street from B's, so I could actually look out our window at it. They released E while B was still recovering from surgery. I looked out the window one day and saw that his fire station was at the hospital. I was surprised that they could all get down there from the Bronx for his release day, but then I saw this:Apparently some Easter Bunnies had to pay a visit to the children's floor of the hospital, and only the ladder truck that E drives would be good enough. Coincidence?

Very strange, I must say, to have a week that focuses on me rather than the kids, but nevertheless...

I had an amazing commute the night of B's surgery. I got to watch a woman being serenaded in the 68th Street subway station:
Then I stepped onto that train and saw a guy giving Free Bouncy Rides:I was taking photos of him when another passenger offered to take a picture of me enjoying a ride: I have to say the energy in that subway car was one you don't get to experience in Manhattan very often; at least two dozen people all smiling together...it was an incredible feeling which I hope I can continue to call back on for a long time. It put me in such a great mood that I actually thought to take photos of Grand Central. I've walked through that station hundreds of times in my life, but it's never more beautiful than at night:I also thought to look up:I can't believe I had never looked up before...for six years I worked in a building right above Grand Central and walked through it every day!

B really enjoyed utilizing the Patient Recreation Center at the hospital. It was nice that it was right on the floor he was on. We participated in a drum circle together, and afterwards hung out and made these: He actually stopped in by himself one day when the boys had arrived back home and I needed some time to be with them. He made some watercolor paintings, and was glad for the opportunity to commiserate with other patients.

It was nice to have had our Easter Egg Hunt with the boys' friends planned for the day after B came home. The kids all had a great time again this year: Easter gave B something to concentrate on rather than his recovery:E's, R's, B's, and mine. And Easter before and after the Easter Bunny, who is still alive and well in this household: I'm thankful that we haven't had school to ruin the fantasy for us.

After B came home, life got somewhat back to normal, although I have to admit I got a lot less done with him home since every day felt like a weekend. We were invited to some playgroup friends' home to build a geodesic dome. First we made them with gum drops and toothpicks, which has always been a favorite activity of ours:Then we made some with rolled up newspaper:One of the moms used to live in a geodesic dome home for part of her childhood and started talking about how some of the levels were pentagons instead of triangles. This led to a conversation about how much time would be saved if we did some of those instead...But then we got a good lesson in how triangles are more stable, especially when working with newspaper, which is not:We ended up having to put a 2x4 in the middle to hold it up.The older kids had lots of fun while the younger kids ended up in the sandbox. No one seemed overly frustrated by the necessity of the 2x4 but R did say he'd like to make one "right" by ourselves at home. We did have a very fun day with all our friends:And several kids finished it off with crowns:Other random April stuff: We spent some time getting back to the books. Both boys wanted to do some "school work" to earn TV time:The boys have had lots of fun playing at playgroup:where I no longer have fun since one of my "friends" let slip about B and now all these acquaintances keep asking me how he is. So much for my one place of normalcy.

R went to a birthday party and brought home some fake snot: I've been enjoying my cutting garden. It's got good stuff this time of year:


April may have started out as one of the most difficult times of my life, but I do always try to find joy in the small things.

Came across a great quote, which is my new mantra: "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

The week before B's surgery

Hate to title it that way, but that's how it will forever stick in my mind. Fine though, because it was a good one. A really good one.

Monday started at the Coco Key Water Resort; a small water park in a hotel right next door in Waterbury. A homeschooler set up the trip, which I was so happy about, since it is right next door and the boys had been asking to go. We saved a lot of money by going with a group, and the boys had a blast. Turns out some good friends of theirs went too and they got to play for four hours with them.

My mom arrived shortly after we got home. She was on her annual trek home to Maine from Florida, and spent the night. We always love having her visit. And the boys were so happy when she offered to take them to Friendly's while I bowled on Tuesday morning.

Wednesday started out on an awesome note when one of the women from my women's circle showed up as I was making breakfast, to hand deliver a gorgeous arrangement from Edible Arrangements which my "sisters" had chipped in for. I had only seen ads for these things and wondered how they are, and now I can definitively say that they are awesome. It was absolutely beautiful and the fruit was such high quality and tasted wonderful. (By the way, all those empty sticks once had grapes on them.) And even better than the wonderful fruit is knowing that my sisters are thinking about us and sending us warm wishes. What an amazing way to start out my day.

After Green Street classes we headed to playgroup, as usual. It's so nice that the weather is getting better and we can all spend time outside. I'm so glad R is enjoying himself there again. Last session at Green Street he didn't care about having to miss playgroup, but now he's glad to be back. Me too. I don't talk to anyone at any of the activities I take them to, and I'm finding that I need to spend some time talking to other homeschooling moms once in a while. I need to reminded that I'm not living in a vacuum, I guess.

It was a hard afternoon for me though, as one of the women there let slip about B's surgery to a large group of people. I had told only 3 people at playgroup (the women I actually consider friends) and asked them not to tell anyone else. I wanted to keep playgroup a place of normalcy, but that was not to happen. So now I have people coming up to me asking "Is B okay?" and "How are you, C?". These people are not my friends and I'm not going to suddenly share my life with them because they feel bad for me. I'm really quite annoyed. I really needed playgroup to be a place to go and talk about homeschooling and kids and the weather. I really needed a place to be distracted from our challenges. *sigh*

After a teary-eyed drive home, I was able to put it aside however, to enjoy the rest of our evening. After B got home, and we had eaten our crockpot pot roast sandwiches, we headed out to Roller Magic in Waterbury. E has been wanting to go roller skating ever since Q's birthday in November and we were finally able to get to it.

Wednesdays are so much cheaper than every other night, so the place was crowded. Since everything was cheap I gave it a go. I used to be a great skater about 30 years ago, but this time I never made it off the carpet onto the skating area. If it hadn't been so crowded I could've practiced more on the carpet with friction, and eventually moved out to the skating area, but no such luck. I haven't given up hope though; I will try again. In the meantime I promised E that I would get him there more often. He loves skating and feels we need to go more often so he doesn't have to re-learn it every time. He actually asked for skates for Christmas but didn't get them. Perhaps for his birthday.

Thursday found us heading into New York for B's pre-op appointments. We parked in Bridgeport and took Metro North down to Grand Central. Mercifully, since we had the boys with us, the appointments were held on schedule and did not take as long as we expected. We enjoyed some pizza in an inside plaza where a pianist performed while we ate. Then we headed over to visit Uncle E in his hospital.

The boys were very nervous about seeing him for the first time after his stroke, especially E. We had forewarned them that Uncle E might not know who they are, and this really freaked him out. He was so concerned about what to talk about while we were there. When we got there though Uncle E was still in physical therapy, and wouldn't be back for 1.5 hours. So we cut out to play in a nearby park.

The NYC kids were getting out of school when we arrived. There was a nine year-old who joined us in a game of tag. An unaccompanied nine year-old in the playground in NYC. His mother was in the library across the street. Different world.

Even R was impressed with the difference. He stood on top of the playground, looked at this view of all the kids playing basketball after school, and commented that even though he wanted to live in Manhattan when he gets older, he's going to move out when it comes time to have kids. I'm so glad he appreciates being raised where he is. And I'm so glad that I have had an opportunity to live outside of NY. Although B and I have talked about retiring there.

On the way back to Uncle E's hospital E found, and both he and R agonized over, a dollar under the grating on the ground. They both insisted that if it had been a 10 or 20 that they would have stayed till they figured how to get it out, but without trees and fallen sticks, it would have been a big ordeal.

Seeing Uncle E was awesome. He not only recognized the boys but lit up when he saw them, motioning them over for hugs. It was so great to see him sitting in bed with his legs over the side. It was so great to be able to hug him good and hard!

Uncle E's therapists are very impressed with the progress he is making in his physical therapy. He can go to the bathroom alone now. And he follows conversations much longer now. Boy, it was good to see him so much further along than last time we saw him. It was a very heartwarming and joyous visit. Both of my boys were so glad to see him and left knowing that Uncle E is still Uncle E and is trying his best to fight his way back to us. And they felt great in seeing him so happy to see them. It was a good visit on many levels.

Uncle E has an awesome view from his room. We don't know how he got so lucky, since his last room also had a great view. Maybe it's special treatment for NYC firefighters?

All in all we had a great day. After our commute down to NY I've decided I'm going to come home every night after spending the days with B in the hospital next week. Going "home" to my mother-in-law in Queens every night is not going to replenish my soul the way coming home to Connecticut will. It will mean less time with B during the days, but I've got more than just his needs to meet. Poor E is already showing signs of stress, and that 81 minutes on the train each way will be good alone-time for me. Good time to escape into some fiction, which I have already borrowed from the library.

Friday we had an easy going morning. We had Chinese food for lunch with Nagy Papa and the boys headed home with him while I continued on to bowling. Since another of my three team mates will be out this Tuesday, I didn't want the last one to be bowling alone, so I pre-bowled. I went in and bowled alone and those scores will count towards our scores next week. I probably should have skipped it though since I bowled under my average the first two games. Hopefully my 191 in the third game will win at least one game for them. Hopefully we won't get bumped out of first place.

Afternoon found B and E with the sniffles. I'm so glad that E still responds so well to water. He is learning that baths are a great way for him to handle stress and that somehow life always seems more manageable after one. He is having such a hard time these days as R gets older and is given more freedom that he doesn't share. This evening found him upset that R had gone to the YMCA with is "tween" friends again this week, and he was stuck home. And that I wouldn't do anything special for him since R was getting something special. Look at that face though. That's a relaxed boy.

Today (Saturday) B is in bed and will hopefully bang out his cold in 24 hours the way he always does so we don't need to postpone his surgery. I sincerely hope that E gets over his quickly too, so he can go and visit B in the hospital as planned.

We were scheduled to go see a robotics competition today and I'm disappointed that R decided he didn't want to go since I thought it would be cool. On the other hand it's nice to have a slow non-shower, sweatpants day at home with everyone doing his own thing. E is playing outside, B is sleeping, I'm blogging, and R has ridden his bike to pick up the copy of Twilight that he had placed on hold at the library. I told him he can see the movie if he reads the book. His friends are all about it right now. We'll see if peer pressure works in getting him to read. Taking away audio books for a year doesn't seem to have made a difference, and I'm frankly starting to get nervous.

Wow, he just came in exclaiming what a FAT book it is. If that boy reads that whole book I will dead away pass out. Or wet my pants.

Through the weekend

This week E learned how to make egg salad. He always liked using the egg slicer, but can now also peel the eggs, mash them, and mix it all up. Yum!

We've been worrying about one of the squirrels we feed. He broke his right leg and his left eye is all cloudy. (Remember, you can click the photos to see them larger.) He seems to be getting a little more energetic every day, but it probably won't last too much longer. E and I had some interesting conversations while we watched him as another squirrel jumped on his back. First we thought it was attacking. Then we thought it was trying to mate. But we decided that it must be some sort of other relationship. Either mom/child or mate. The other squirrel seemed to be pushing him along. E named him Survivor. We also had a conversation about euthanasia, but that did not sit at all well with E. This week we'll be getting a book about squirrels at the library. We know surprisingly little about them other than what we've observed, and are looking forward to finding out what kind of social circles they run in.

Friday evening from 7pm till 9:30pm R went to this thing called Twylight Zone, which is an event for tweens at the YMCA. They open the pool and gym and game room to tweens. It's free for members and was only 6 bucks for guests. With all of R's friends there were a total of seven of them, and they had a great time. He refused to bring his camera and take pictures for me. He is wanting to be his own person now and have time with friends that he doesn't have to share with me. *sigh*

E had me take a photo of the biggest pot he ever won (R is so damn good at poker, although E is lucky as hell at everything else). Poor thing smashed his finger while he was running to tell me to take his picture. He held it together long enough for the photo and then needed some ice and a Spongebob bandaid.

Saturday we went down to to New York to celebrate B's nephews' birthdays. Aunt R decided to do the boys together since Uncle E normally handles all the Joe Housewife stuff and he is in the hospital rehabilitating. It was so strange to be in his house with him not there. It was mighty good to be in New York for something happy though.

The boys had a great time playing with the Playstation upstairs and the Wii downstairs. They always have a great time there, but we always end up having to have the no gaming systems conversation on the way home. Yes, I'm already regretting the Nintendo DS we bought R for Christmas. Argh.

I was so happy to get a great shot of all the B kids together. And Uncle M stood behind me to get them to all smile. Well done, Uncle M!

This morning (Sunday) I walked on my treadmill for 20 minutes and rode my Lifecylce for 10 minutes. Standing ovation please.

Today E was invited to a neighborhood friend's birthday party at a gymnastics center. He wasn't thrilled with the circuit aspect of the party, preferring the free time they had to play on whatever they wanted. He loves having playmates in our cul-de-sac. He loves being the oldest. He is eight and the next after him is six. And it goes down to two and a half. See him towering above the other kids (along with older cousins who had also been invited), I love that all the neighborhood parents love him. They tell me he is "pleasant" and "kind". I'm so glad that he has the opportunity to be with younger kids and nurture that side of him.

R invited some friends over for the afternoon. They played basketball and who knows what else while E and I were at the birthday party. E was so pleased that they included him when he returned and wanted to play with them. What a great group of kids. All of them have little brothers and are understanding.

I loved watching them walk out of the woods with all their wooden rifles, Nerf guns, and blow horns. They must've had a fun day. I'm so thrilled that R is starting to take care of his own social life and that I really can stop worrying about that aspect of his life.

The last few Sundays have been tough for B. He realizes that he needs to continue to do the things he can while he can. At first he was so immobilized, but he is learning to live day by day and appreciate the moment. Today he cleaned the gutters. There's no way he will be able to do them in April when he usually does, and he refuses to pay someone else. So he is carrying on.

But by about 3:00 he starts looking like he's ready to cry. He showers and puts on his pajamas and climbs into bed to watch something on TV to get lost in. He is counting down his weekends, and now he has only one left until his life is changed so drastically for several months.

Nine days until his surgery.

A busy Wednesday

We started out at our co-op classes at Green Street today. R is taking an Electronics class and E is taking Music Appreciation. From there we stopped at McDonald's for lunch, since I can never seem to get myself together early enough in the morning to make lunch at home. From McDonald's we went down to New Haven to playgroup. The boys are happy I signed them up only for early classes at Green Street so we can return to playgroup in the afternoons. It was a beautiful day and they had a great time. I am thrilled that the group seems to have grown during our absence; there were six "tweens" there today!

I was happy that of the nine bags of books in my trunk, playgroup friends took six bags worth. Man, we have a lot of books. Breaks my heart to get rid of many of them, but now that I know about our visual processing disorders, and the kind of books my boys like to read and are frankly, comfortable looking at, there's no sense in keeping the rest. I also parted with some of the old picture books that we had outgrown. I was so glad to have them go to friends. The balance went to New Haven Reads (book bank) after playgroup.

From there we went to Target for birthday gifts for this weekend, Thyme and Season to pick up our raw milk, and Everybody's for Italian bread for our chicken sandwiches.

Wednesdays are only going to get worse when golf lessons start next month.

St. Patrick's Day

This morning found me up at 7am. That in itself is noteworthy. I got up to put the corned beef into the crockpot. Corned beef. Ew. B loves the stuff, but I think it's gross. This is the first year I made it. He was so happy to see me preparing it that he went to the store and brought me home a green carnation before going to work. I didn't wear it though because I didn't want it to get crushed.

Since I was up anyway I made the boys green eggs and they had that along with the Irish soda bread B had made over the weekend.

Then we got dressed and headed to bowling. I'm thrilled to be bowling again. I joined a league in September. We bowl every Tuesday morning. It's probably 1/2 retirees and the rest are closer to my age. No one younger though.

I bowled with my mom and aunts when I lived in New York way back when. I was pretty good then, and am extremely happy that time and fat haven't seemed to make a difference now. My average is the second highest on the league, at 153, and my team is in first place. Today I bowled a 156, 214 (!) and a 142. This is my second week in a row bowling over 200. Woo hoo!

The boys come to bowling too. For years I've sat on the sidelines or in the car when it's cold, and driven them to all manner of sports and classes. This year I decided they could sit for my sport. They hand out on benches on the other side of the place and read/play with R's DS/play with action figures/do workbooks stuff to earn TV time, and basically keep themselves busy without too much complaint. R is taking a baby sitting class next month, and I told him they could stay home after he's done, but for now they have to go and suffer through my bowling. Although sometimes they do ask my dad to comb by and watch them so they don't have to go.

After bowling we came home and the boys went outside to make themselves a fire. That's something they are so into these days that I've stopped taking pictures. Although I don't think I've posted one here. OK, here's an old one.

While they did that I spent a really good portion of the day looking through tons of books in the basement and filling 9 plastic grocery bags with disposables. I still have a lot to go, but they really did fill up my trunk.

When B got home we had our corned beef (ew). The boys liked it well enough, but next year if I make it again I'll be making something else for myself.

We ended the day by going to the movies. The theater in Wallingford sells all tickets for $5 on Tuesdays and B has been hating that he misses them all the time. So we agreed that we'd go at night so he can join us. We saw Race to Witch Mountain. We knew it would be coming out so a couple of weeks ago we watched the original (borrowed from the library) to enjoy before the super effects ruined the the enjoyment. Good decision, that.



The boys enjoyed both versions, but of course, like the new one better (duh). I liked the old one better (duh). The new one was fun, but lots of explosions and a little more over the top than necessary. I guess it's what kids expect these days. My favorite part was when the two original kids showed up as adult characters on this one. I'm so glad I saw Kim Richards' name at the start of the film, so I knew to look for her. The boys liked that too. And B was so glad he got to join us. It did mean getting into bed close to 10 though.

St. Patrick's Day Parade

We had a difficult night last night. R threw up in his bed at 11pm. E made it to the bathroom around 2, and then they were both up at least three more times each until they got up a little after 7. Luckily they all let me continue to sleep till 10, or I would've been dead. All three of my men are blaming it on lunch at Nardelli's, but it just doesn't compute for me. Nevertheless, they are all extremely wary of returning.

Today we managed to drag the boys out into the beautiful day to watch the St. Patrick's Day Parade in New Haven. We had our chairs and found a great spot in our usual area close to the end of the route. We love this parade and I hated having to miss it when I was sick the year before last. So although the boys wouldn't feel really better until about half way through it, they were glad we went.

We look forward to taking the boys to the parade in Manhattan sometime, but for now ours is just as good and 1/3 as long. Plus we can get there 1/2 hour after it takes off and still get good spots too see it. In New York chairs are useless unless you arrive at least an hour before the thing starts (no matter where on the route you are), so not only will we have to stand, but it will be for about 3 hours instead of 1. However, even if we stay only 1 hour, we'd probably get to see twice as much because there are so many participants. And the bands are much bigger. Ah, that barely touches upon the pros and cons.

I have to say though, that for what you are actually seeing, it's mostly the same. We have our share of weirdness to watch. And from the families with the loud horns, the teenagers who join in to walk with a group they don't belong to, to the adults who stumble along with their paper bags, the spectators are exactly the same.

The only thing B and I really miss is cheering for the sanitation guys that follow the horses.